By Dennis Abrams
Author Colleen McCullough died on January 29 at the age of 77. She was a trained neuropsychologist. She was a best-selling author whose book, The Thorn Birds, sold 30 million copies worldwide.
Yet in her home country of Australia, the newspaper The Australian opened its obituary with this:
“Australia’s bestselling author was a charmer. Plain of feature, and certainly overweight, she was nevertheless a woman of wit and warmth.”
Let me repeat that: “Plain of feature, and certainly overweight, she was nevertheless a woman of wit and warmth.”
Not surprisingly, her friends and comrades in the literary world took to Twitter under the hashtag #myozobituary to mock the obituary.
What exactly does a woman have to accomplish in her life in order to not be immediately judged on weight and appearance?
A few of selected tweets:
Although his beard looked like someone had glued it on & his hair would have been unconvincing as a wig, he married a rockstar #MyOzObituary
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) January 30, 2015
Johnson, who had an unattractive pointy nose & crooked teeth, was nevertheless a writer of nine works of fiction #myozobituary
— Susan Johnson (@sjreaders) January 30, 2015
'Spotty of chin and wide of thigh, she nonetheless summoned the courage to leave the house and do things.' #myozobituary
— Katy Brand (@KatyFBrand) January 30, 2015
Despite a nose like a bowsprit and an allergy to hairdressers, she was able to type almost as well as a man. #myozobituary
— Alison Croggon (@alisoncroggon) January 30, 2015
Short & dumpy with an extra chin, she nevertheless wrote books novels & articles & was occasionally allowed 2 appear on telly #myozobituary
— Jane Caro (@JaneCaro) January 30, 2015
"Odorous and living in a drain, Spargo-Ryan nevertheless trained her lice circus to international acclaim." #myozobituary
— Anna Spargo-Ryan (@annaspargoryan) January 30, 2015
Despite a forehead like a solar panel and hair mown by the blind, Benjamin Law had basic literacy and dabbled in social media. #myozobituary
— Benjamin Law (@mrbenjaminlaw) January 30, 2015
Despite never discovering that magical t-shirt that hid his girth adequately, he managed to leave the house to tell some jokes #myozobituary
— PETER HELLIAR (@pjhelliar) January 30, 2015
#myozobituary would be “Although she grew a disappointing arse, she nonetheless got laid & won awards."
— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) January 30, 2015