By Roger Tagholm
Welcome book folk and with no further ado
(save thanks to the New Yorker who began this in ’32)
Let’s begin this run ‘cross the year’s snowy slopes
Hold on to your tablets! You may even need ropes!
Which name to begin our special journey?
Choose carefully — don’t want court, or worse, a gurney!
A seasonal cocktail please, that’s full on zowey,
For journalists’ friend, quote-worthy Hugh Howey.
She sorted it with Am’zon, made negotiatin’ easy
Some Veuve Clicquot please, for dear Carolyn Reidy!
The bubbling ‘neuf-du-Pape is for Nobel’s top bro’
Mysterious, reclusive, Patrick Modiano!
Step forward if you will, legal eagle of note
That’s rulin’, non-colludin’ Judge Denise Cote!
You’ve heard her talk, now she’s pulling a cracker,
Get led to the source with Dominique Raccah.
Let’s ride up high on our trusty sleigh
Better to see who else is coming our way;
Why from here we can see so much of the trade
Arrayed in splendour like Macy’s parade.
Back there is someone smiling, not in a hurry
It’s tall, Antipodean charmer, Brian Murray;
Don’t just stand and stare — get him a beer!
Don’t you know he’s PW’s Man of the Year?
Next to him, and as lofty again,
Is that Simon Cowell? No, it’s Charlie Redmayne!
The year’s been tough, not dollars but dolour —
So here cop a hug from Markus Dohle!
If your apps always fail to go with a bang
Wheel ‘em up for this man — it’s cool Eric Huang!
Next up is the peachiest peach that ever did preach
It’s the independents’ friend, Michael Pietsch!
Mid-way ‘long there’s a group excited
It’s Dougie Preston and his Authors United!
There’s Jay McInerney — Bright Lights, Big Protest —
George Pelecanos, Grisham and Suri Hustvedt,
Ruth Ozeki, Sara Paretsky and Linwood Barclay,
Each of them championing another way
All marching ‘less there’s no tomorrow
Because Bezos will make the pub’ business Caputo.
Talking of Jeff, who’s that with him looking swell?
Why it’s that Brit from the Farm, Georgie Orwell!
Four legs good, two legs bad,
Ebooks should be cheaper — God we get so mad!
Some say that dispute was rather petty
But try telling that to Russ Grandinetti;
Fair play to Seattle they’ve been nimble
And turned their devices into glowing KrisKindles;
Christopher North holds his aloft
An aid to writers who are lost,
And Michael Tamblyn fires up his Kobo
He ain’t gonna be left like no wandering hobo!
Behind them too, another throng,
One that recently has been growing strong;
Indies fall in to follow a fighter,
Some warming grog please for Oren Teicher!
Duckin’ and weavin’ there’s Stevie Rosato,
Deliverin’ stands with a cheery ho ho ho.
From Justo Hidalgo to Nathan Hull
Where digital will go next, who can tell?
Scribd or Oyster, it’s all a content cache
And here comes the Irishman Richard Nash.
Look down yon Open Road for tinselly Jane Friedman;
Problems with wolves? Jane’s head of the clan!
A skirmish with Harper was good for the soul
Being an indie is much more rock ‘n roll.
Your pad or my pad, iPad or Wattpad,
Content swirls and makes us all glad;
If at times it means we have to work harder
New models abound cries Ashleigh Gardner.
So who’s at the head of this joyous cavalcade?
Who leads the dance of such splendour arrayed?
Why surely you know, it’s generosity’s scattergun,
Ad man-turned-writer man, ‘little’ Jimmy Patterson.
So if your ROI pleases the IRS,
And you can put up with DRM like all the rest,
Wrap up your presents in glittering Epub3
And put them ‘round your Christmas Tree;
Don’t forget the gift that’s gentle like a dove
Terms/schmerms — what matters is love.
So from all at PP we wish you Godspeed
A joyous Noel (and slap-up feed),
Whatever your faith — or if you have none –
May peace find you all and we’ll see you anon.
(Publishing Perspective returns on January 5 )